some things are worth more than fear
by xoxomolls
Summary: "And he thinks he'd follow this girl anywhere." FitzSimmons. Oneshot.


::

You're fresh out of high school and still a little confused at basic social concepts, but you're the top of your graduating class, and you never cared much for social interaction anyway.

You spent six hours on a plane and twice as many on a bus and you're so close, you can feel it.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy is bigger than you expect and smaller all at the same time and you end up standing in the lobby of what you think is your dormitory surrounded by suitcases and high hopes. You turn around and then something is slamming against your chest and there's a thud and an 'oof!' and someone hits the ground.

"Oh, god, I am so sorry! Are you okay? Here, let me help you."

The person you basically bulldozed over looks about your age with warm eyes and a small stature. She's tiny and soft and when you reach out a hand to pull her up, she takes it with a smile that you think you could get used to.

"It's fine! Don't worry about it! I should have been paying attention." She shakes your hand and tells you that her name is Jemma Simmons and you smile because her accent makes you feel a little less alone.

"Leo Fitz. Nice to meet you."

You think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

::

It is.

You run into her again in the cafeteria a few days later and her eyes are still warm. She asks if you want to sit with her and you nod so fast you're momentarily scared you gave yourself whiplash, but it clears and she laughs a little.

You tell her about your family and she tells you about England and how she feels like a traitor because she absolutely hates tea and _Fitz, I'm British, I actually think that might be against the law._

She wants to go into Biochemistry because she likes the idea that every part of every living thing becomes part of something else when it dies. You like that idea too. Because even if you never amount to anything, it's possible that some piece of you will join with something or someone that will.

It's not until the majority of the crowd has dispersed and your hot chocolate has gone cold that you realize you've been talking to her for hours. It's only six o'clock though, so you rest your chin on your hand and watch her eyes light up when she talks about what she wants to do after she graduates. She likes being in the lab, but she doesn't want to stay there forever. She wants to travel the world and make a difference.

(you think you can do that from behind bulletproof windows and safety glasses, but then again you've always been a coward)

::

Jemma Simmons might just be the smartest person you've ever met.

You watch as she leans over your designs, making corrections every few seconds as her eyes scan the documents. By the time she's done, you're anxiously twisting your fingers together and holding your breath.

She smiles at you and touches your arm. "Fitz, this is amazing. The only reason the dwarfs aren't working is because of they need to understand what they're looking for. But I think I know how we can fix it."

"We?"

And then she's blushing and stammering out apologies and it's absolutely adorable, but you didn't mean to fluster her so you shake your head and grip her hand. "Jem, relax. I would love to have you help me with these little buggers."

She grins and tosses you a highlighter and a calculator and tells you to figure out why Dopey is slower than the rest.

::

It surprises no one when you're both put on the track to graduate early.

It also surprises no one when the two of you start rooming together a few months into freshman year.

(It certainly surprised you when she appeared at your dorm with a box in her hands and informed you that she was moving in.

"Really, Fitz, you should have seen this coming. It'll be much more convenient and I can make sure you don't blow up your kitchen again trying to make pancakes."

"That was _one_ time, Simmons! One time!")

::

His name is Richard Cartright and you hate him.

He takes Simmons on a date and then another and another and then she's holding his hand instead of yours and sitting with him at lunch instead of you and you really hate him.

But as long as he keeps that smile on her face, you won't say anything because you love your best friend and you don't care how much it hurts to watch her with someone who isn't you as long as she's happy.

It only lasts a month before she's storming into the room with tear-stained cheeks and clenched fists and she's mumbling about fake blondes and cheating jerks and it doesn't take you long to put the pieces together. You don't get angry much, but watching your best friend, the nicest person you know, fall apart because some stupid guy didn't realize what he had makes your blood boil. Part of you, a very large part of you, wants to find Richard Cartright and punch him in his arrogant face, but Simmons needs you right now, so you just open your arms.

The future biochemist sniffles and then she's diving forward and curling into your chest and squeezing her eyes shut. Her fingers fold around the back of your neck and you press your lips to her forehead.

"It's okay, Jem. He's just a dumb boy and you're so much better than him anyway. He didn't deserve you in the first place." You rub circles on her spine and wait for her sobs to die down until she's silent in your arms.

"He said it was my fault because I wouldn't sleep with him."

And your vision is going red because she's not like that and no one has the right to try and make her something she's not because Jemma Simmons is perfect the way she is.

But your best friend is still shaking and she needs you more than you need to hit something, so you just hold her that much tighter. "It's going to be okay. I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again."

You wait until her breathing evens out and slide out from under her, covering her with a blanket and slipping a pillow under her head.

If she notices the black eye her ex-boyfriend is sporting in the morning, she doesn't say anything. She just slips her hand into yours and squeezes.

::

You fail your first test that year and it makes you want to scream.

You can't afford to fail.

You've worked too hard for this.

By the time Jemma gets back from her cell biology class, you've ripped half your posters off the wall and thrown your textbooks out the window. She finds you in the bathroom with your knees pulled to your chest and your hands over your ears. She kneels in front of you and her fingers are gentle when they tug your wrists until you lower your arms.

"Oh, Leo."

And maybe it's the way she calls you Leo, but you lean forward and press your forehead against her collarbone and you don't care that your eyes are watering because this is Jemma and if anyone understands the pressure you're under, it's her.

She just drags her fingers through your hair and you can feel her nails on the back of your neck and it calms you down enough to remember how to breathe. Neither of you says anything for a long time, but the silence is comfortable instead of awkward and you kind of love her for it.

::

You're not at all surprised when Simmons pushes you onto the bed and shoves her laptop at you and informs you that you're having a Disney marathon. She tells you to pick which movie you'd like to watch first and that she's going to make popcorn and you can't help but laugh at how determined she is.

You had been expecting this since you'd accidentally mentioned that the only Disney movie you'd ever seen was Cars and she had smacked you with her biology notebook.

_"Leopold Fitz!" You try to protest the use of your full name, but she ignores you and continues to flail her arms around dramatically. "Where has your childhood been? We must remedy this immediately!" _

_"If I say okay, will you stop hitting me?" _

_She seems to register that she's still swatting at you and her cheeks redden. "Sorry, Fitz. But really, of all the movies you could have watched, you chose Cars? That movie was an atrocity!" _

The memory makes you smile and you survey the choices on the screen in front of you and finally settle on Cinderella. May as well start with the classics.

Simmons walks back into the room with a bowl in her hands and you raise an eyebrow. "Is that my sweatshirt?"

She looks down at the dark gray fabric and blushes. "Maybe. Do you want it back? Because I can grab-"

You cut her off with a chuckle. "No, Jem. It looks good on you. Keep it. Now, don't we have a movie to watch?"

"Movies," she corrects as she climbs onto the bed beside you and tucks herself under your arm. She seems to fit perfectly as she nuzzles into your side and sets the popcorn on the table beside her. "Now press play. We have a lot of ground to cover."

::

The day you graduate is one of the best days of your life. It's filled with compliments and handshakes and your mother cries and your dad clamps a hand on your shoulder and tells you how proud he is of you and your cheeks hurt because you're smiling so wide.

And then Jemma is running through the aisles, screaming your name, and she's in your arms and everything is perfect.

"We did it, Fitz! We really did it!"

And her mascara is smudged and her cap is crooked, but you think she looks beautiful. "Of course we did, Jem. It's us."

And her eyes get a little watery and she nudges you with her diploma. "Yeah, it's us."

::

You've been beside her for four years. It's really no wonder that you fell in love with her somewhere along the way.

And of course, she has no idea, but you don't exactly have the courage to tell her, so you don't.

And then she's telling you that she's going to make a difference and you remember a conversation from when you first met her and you know what this means.

It isn't really a question because you're her best friend first and a coward second and wherever she goes, you go. That's just how it works.

"So where are we going?"

She beams at you and jumps into your arms, rambling on about planes and security clearance and _isn't this going to be so much fun, Fitz?_

The voice in the back of your head wonders, but this is Jemma you're talking about, so you nod and start packing because you'd follow this girl anywhere.

::


End file.
